Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Like Sands Through The Hour Glass

McKenna decided a week or so ago that she wanted to attend the high school Science Club's Science Night, an event exclusively for 4th through 8th graders.  Unlike Family Reading Night which we had attended the week before, this was just for her and her peers.  No parents, no younger siblings.  Just the big timers with the even bigger timers (and some teachers for supervision and safety purposes, of course) learning about physics and biology.

As we walked up to the east entrance of the school, she skipped merrily ahead of me.  At first it struck me as sort of odd that my nine year old would be skipping.  I'll be honest, it seemed a little juvenile.  But just as quick as the thought entered my head, the nice voice said to the mean voice, "Chill out, lady.  Let her skip if she wants too.  You should be grateful that she's so happy and light in her heart that her feet might carry her so lightly as a result".

I got her checked in, took note of the details of when I was supposed to pick her up, and then with barely a glance backwards she followed her peers down the hall to the gym.  That same girl who was casually skipping toward the building now walked with purpose down the corridor, glancing sideways at her friends and chatting with a huge smile on her face, looking and acting all her nine years (and more).  As I watched her disappear with her classmates, I had the sudden gut-punch reality that in less than five years she'll be walking down those same halls as a student there.  A high schooler.  Less than five years from now.  My little blue-eyed, chubby cheeked baby girl.  Cue tummy flutters and increased heart rate of the "This Can't Be Happening" variety.

Last night's discussion of bras did little to ease my worried tummy about how fast time is flying past me.  There are days when I can't wait for them to grow up, to watch them continue to evolve into these amazing human beings, to selfishly have a little bit more "us" time with The General.  And then there are moments like the ones experienced this week - moments that admittedly happen with much greater frequency - that make me what to scream with frustration at how fast they're growing up and how little I pay attention to them in the moment.  Talking to them one-on-one takes my breath away at the realization of how grown up they are already.

I think it's time for me to quit making wishes for time to hurry up or time to slow down.  Instead, it's way past the time for me to just enjoy each moment in the now, each second that is

crazy/stressful/amazing/hilarious/frustrating/loving/wonderful/horrible/beautiful/fabulous/tumultuous/touching/tender/tense/unique/mundane/special

as it's happening.  That seems so much easier than finding a way to rewind time to live it again.  Live in the moment.  Live for today.  Right now.  What a concept!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Never stops being shocking that our children stop needing us. It is still shocking to me that Tru Stories is married with kids. Luckily, she still needs me to tell her how to drive.
How jealous would The Kid be to hear there is such a thing as a Science night.
Page Turner

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